𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲: 𝗜𝘀 𝗜𝘁 𝗡𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝘆?

Please, don’t rush to answer that question.

Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Ask yourself again—is gratitude truly necessary?

As I walked through the neighbourhood just before the arrival of the ‘August visitor’ (early snow), a thought lingered: Has ingratitude silently become a modern-day virtue?

I asked myself, could ingratitude actually be considered a virtue?

Looking around, everyone appeared caught up in their world—passersby minding their own business, indifferent to the thoughts swirling in my mind as we crossed paths. No one could guess what I was contemplating. But still, the question remained:

How can ingratitude be a virtue?

Let’s examine this.

Ingratitude, according to Merriam-Webster, is “forgetfulness of or poor return for kindness received: ungratefulness.” It denotes a lack of appreciation, an absence of gratitude.

Virtue is defined as “a commendable quality or trait; merit.”

Now, place the two concepts side by side:

• Can ungratefulness ever be a commendable trait?
• Can failing to appreciate kindness be considered a merit?

Certainly not.

So, no—in any honest reflection, ingratitude can never be a virtue.

Yet, why does it seem so widespread today?

That, in itself, is a question worth answering.

As I pondered further, I remembered my father—not just his words, but more importantly, his actions.

Growing up, I often heard him say, “Thank you for what you did for me yesterday” (in Ekiti dialect: “hin sere ana o”). It seemed ordinary. But one day, something shifted my understanding.

I was home for the holidays and had brought some gifts for my parents. The following morning, my father knocked on my door. After his morning prayers, he looked me in the eye and said again, “o sere ana o.” He was thanking me for a simple act of giving.

Then came his usual heartfelt prayers.

As I responded with “Amen,” I was struck: Why would a father thank his own child?

But that was who he was. He remained consistently appreciative—not just to me, but to anyone who extended any kindness to him.

Later in life, I realized this wasn’t just a personal trait—it was cultural. Among the Yoruba, appreciation for “yesterday’s” good deeds, regardless of how long ago they occurred, is customary. Phrases like “E seun ojo yen” (Thank you for the other day) are used with heartfelt sincerity.

So I ask again:
How did we lose this powerful virtue so quickly?
Or have we become blind to the blessings that still surround us?

The truth is, when we pause to reflect—on our lives, our relationships, the kindness we receive, and the sacrifices made on our behalf—we find so much to be thankful for.

Gratitude costs nothing, but it gives everything.

Even when someone owes us, appreciation for any act of kindness should not be withheld. My father owed me nothing—yet he showed appreciation for every little act I extended toward him. That humility made a lasting impression.

Is being grateful just an old-fashioned thing?

I don’t believe so.

So again I ask—
What are you grateful for today?

It’s never too late to say thank you for the favours, kindness, and sacrifices you might have forgotten. Let those who gave know you haven’t taken their acts for granted.

I remain eternally grateful to my parents—for the kindness and sacrifices they showed not only to us, their children, but to everyone around them. That legacy lives on in me, and I am grateful it does.

What about you?

Do you think gratitude has gone out of style?

I welcome your thoughts and reflections.